Speaking of chastity in the 21st century may seem shocking and anachronistic. Perhaps because, erroneously, this term usually refers to a set of denials that are completely alien to love, until it ends up being identified with the pure and simple abstention of corporal treatment.
Referring to the married, and with words that recall the aforementioned, conjugal chastity would be the virtue that makes it possible and facilitates that at fifteen, twenty, twenty-five or many more years of marriage, each spouse is so in love with the other and this one it is so attractive to him, in all the senses of the term, as that already distant day in which the two were reciprocally pledged; or better, because it is more true, much more kind and sweeping than then, because prolonged affection has led him to discover and delve into his personal wealth and his more real and accurate beauty.
Chastity, therefore, is something big, exalted, positive, that is not limited or solved in a set of prohibitions and that goes far beyond the domains of mere genitality. Its own object, like that of any virtue, is love: In this case, the love of two sexed persons – male and female – and just as such. And its purpose, to make that affection unfold and flourish in each and every one of its dimensions, not only in those directly related to the physical or genital treatment.
Increase the love
It is understood then that the main and most definitive act of this virtue consists in fostering positively, with the thousand and one refinements that the wit in love discovers, the love towards the other spouse.
Therefore, to live it in all its grandeur, it is appropriate that each member of the marriage expressly devote a few minutes every day to decide that or those details of affection and delicacy with which it will give a joy to the other and raise the quality and temperature of the mutual love; as well as that he put all the means at his disposal so that those manifestations of decided affection can be fulfilled, taking into account that if he does not insist on giving them life it is very possible that work and other occupations leave them in simple “good intention” .
Similarly, a husband in love has to be willing to repeat his wife many times a day, along with other manifestations of affection, that he loves her. Of course, she already knows! But she needs almost peremptorily that such a joyful confirmation enters her ears very often: it is a seemingly minimal delicacy, but one that comforts her and gives her strength to continue in the struggle, sometimes ungrateful, to bring forward with renewed vigor the home and family. And the man, for his part, in addition to thanking also in many cases the parallel declaration of his wife, needs to pronounce those words to reinforce, through the express and materialized affirmation, the carats of his love and his fidelity.
In addition, and to give another example, husband and wife must also frequently strive to surprise their partner with something they did not expect and that reveals their appreciation and interest in her. Not only on the indicated days, in which those manifestations “are already supposed”, but also in those others in which there would be no reason to have special attention … except for the love in love with the spouses, always alive and always growing! Bearing in mind, on the other hand, that the important thing is to fix the gaze on the other, to devote time and attention, and not necessarily the material value of what is offered.
In the same line, to live the fullness of love that we are considering here, it is essential that the spouses know to find time to be, talk and rest alone, in the best possible conditions, overcoming the inertial laziness that could sometimes harass them. Without making this an absolute, but as a simple suggestion, an evening or a night a week devoted exclusively to marriage, besides greatly facilitating communication, is one of the best means for family life – and, Therefore, affection for children – progress and consolidate, to give seasoned fruits of personal quality. For that reason, the request and the mime to the own pair must be put before the labor and social obligations and, if it were worth the somewhat paradoxical opposition, even to the “direct” care of the children … that will be strengthened by the mutual love of his parents.
Promote the attraction
In view of what we are seeing, it is easy to understand that it is an act of virtue – of the virtue of chastity, in particular – to do everything in our power to increase the attraction, also the strictly sexual, to and of our spouse.
Particularly, it seems a good sense to take advantage of the intimate joy that is linked to the personal and intimate love hug to resolve small discrepancies