“You can get everything that you ever wanted from life if you always help other people to get from life what they need.”
Nothing can bring more joy to our lives than a wonderful, full-fledged and rich relationship. The depth of meaningfulness, understanding, and acceptance that they carry with them is impossible to imagine for those who have never experienced them. And, of course, as sooner or later, to their misfortune, many people will find out, nothing can bring us more pain than the breakdown of relations with a person close to us.
Yes, relationships are exactly that “lubricant” that makes the gears of this world spin. For good or bad, but spinning. In fact, we can do a lot to increase the chances that our relationship will be truly wonderful: full and exciting, full of meaning, joy, and love.
Yes, personal relationships can be very different, but after looking closely at them, you can highlight some of the basics that I would like to talk about with you.
Of course, this point primarily depends on how you define love. Most people think that love is a feeling, but I would like to argue with that. In fact, our feelings relate much more to the one we like, and not to the one we love. And when you say that you love someone, you do not necessarily talk about how you feel about this person.
Love is something more and much deeper than just feelings. Love is also a voluntary commitment to always treat a loved one well, honestly and with dignity.
Yes, we experience feelings that we call “love” for loved ones, our soul mates, but I believe that it is time for all of us to take a closer look at these feelings and decide for ourselves what we mean by them. We must expand our definition of love to include the aspect of commitment.
If we want our relationships with other people to be healthy, we must love them all. Depending on what kind of people they are and what feelings we feel for them, we may not even like them, but love means something else – it determines how we should relate to them. It determines that we should treat them well, honestly and with dignity. This is the foundation of any healthy personal relationship.
2. A heart ready to help
My good friend Zig Ziegler often says that “you can get everything you ever wanted from your life if you always help other people to get what they need from life.”
In order to facilitate our path to happiness and the fulfillment of our desires, we must strive with our soul and body to help other people. Yes, when we live life, always ready to serve other people, it, surprisingly, only gets better.
This does not mean that we should completely forget about ourselves, help and serve everyone in a row, including our relatives, colleagues, friends and those we met by chance. We can help those who deserve our help, and not all who would need it, and then life will reward us as it deserves.
3. Honest and open communication
Any good relationship is based on open and honest communication. Communication is so important because it allows us to clothe in a certain form that which is deep in our souls. It helps to connect with other people.
Communication is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? When a person experiences certain feelings, and he will communicate with other people, they will also be able to understand and feel this. Awesome.
And this is one of the most important goals of a good relationship – especially a good romantic relationship – to learn how to communicate with each other and tell what we think and feel. This allows us to connect with new people and make existing ones stronger.
Sometimes we talk, and sometimes we just listen. You need to learn how to do both of these things – too many people are very good at speaking, but are not at all able to listen. Be that as it may, the main purpose of communication is to create and strengthen relationships.
Simply put, any relationship with people around us works better if we are more friendly and benevolent towards them. Friendliness helps us install shock absorbers on the wheels of a relationship car flying into the distance along the bumpy road of life. Well, goodwill only contributes to the longevity of our relationship, especially with life partners.
Why? And would you like to live your whole life next to a gloomy and inhospitable man, looking at everyone with a wolf? The truth is that the more friendly you are, the easier it will be for you to find people who seek to establish long-term and mutually beneficial personal relationships with you.
So cheer up, smile, find good words in relation to the people around you, try to initially see friends and not enemies in them. Soon you will see that the people around you are paying you the same.
We are not angels and not fairy elves. We are all human and therefore give each other many opportunities to practice patience. Everyday. Sometimes other people fail us, sometimes we fail them – this is unpleasant, but it is quite normal. And therefore, when we try to find enough patience in ourselves towards other people, we should not forget that we also need their patience.
I believe that often personal relationships break up just because people simply give up and get tired of enduring.
I’m talking about a variety of relationships – friendly, family, professional, business … Recent studies show that family relationships that had to go through chaos and trouble, but they still survived, after that they only get stronger. All because in these cases, patience prevailed.
Those who give up, giving up relationships just because they are tired of tolerating their imperfections, often forget that their next friend, spouse or business partner will also not be perfect, that perfection simply does not exist in this world!
That is why we need to carefully cultivate the timid shoots of patience in ourselves because this skill can be useful to us like no other.
Fidelity is a word given to another person, it is the desire not to violate his trust, no matter what happens. But, unfortunately, in the modern world, many relationships clearly lack fidelity. We forgot what it is to be truly loyal to other people.
This is partly to blame for our consumer worldview. You can’t actually be true to which product, can you? It can be used as long as it is profitable, and while the price is consistent with the quality, but after that, we may well abandon it in favor of some new one. And, regrettably, it works both ways – many companies do not consider themselves obligated to be faithful to their customers or customers, trying to deceive them somewhere.
Unfortunately, such an approach has shifted to our relationship. But it’s one thing to change the brand of cleaning agent because the new one is cheaper and better to clean, and it’s quite another to change friends because the old ones are not suitable for your new job, apartment or social circle.
Sometimes we have to forget about behaving like a spoiled shopper in a store, remembering loyalty and letting the relationship move forward.
We need to learn how to hold on to each other again, without casting aside for the sake of momentary gain!
Believe me, people will appreciate it, and it really can bring your relationship to a whole new level. Just imagine how much stronger you can be made by the knowledge that you are in a friendly or romantic relationship with a person who is loyal to you, and you to him. That none of you will tighten your tail and run away, even when a black stripe comes to life … A powerful thing!
7. General goals
One of the basics of a healthy relationship is to find common goals that you can move together. Often, during an initial acquaintance, this aspect of the relationship is not paid much attention, but, believe me, if you want this relationship to become truly long-lasting and strong, it is very important.
Think about how many friends you met while working on a common goal. It could be people you met in the gym, volunteered, went to the same church, to the same office … In general, you did anything, during which you worked together on one thing.
Working on a common goal, you have established an inextricable link between you, which has brought you together and holds you to this day. To work together, to create something together, to win and suffer defeat when a common goal is seen somewhere ahead – this can lay a really strong foundation for your relationship.
The foundation on which you can build a strong and durable house. Find people with whom you already have common goals, sow the seeds of personal relationships in fertile soil, and then reap the fruits of your labors. Fruits that will be very plentiful.
All good relations are connected by something else: they are never boring. This does not mean that you simply have to have fun all day, although for some relationships this is quite the norm. But even business relationships should not be hopelessly serious. If you want to enter into a long-term business relationship with anyone, there should be a place for a smile in them. At least occasionally.
Fun brings joy and satisfaction to relationships, and this is very important.
It seems to me that in our family relationships we too often forget about this key factor (or do not attach special importance to it). Those funny and funny things that we did for each other, when we first met, eventually fade into the background, and our life becomes much grayer. Boring. More joyless.
There are many components that help us create great and lasting relationships, but almost all of them come down to eight key aspects. Each of these factors brings unique dynamics and positive attitude. So let’s start working on these aspects of the relationship – and soon we will see that it fills life with real miracles!